When I am in a clarity session with men and women who feel lost in their professional careers, whether as managers, executives, or business leaders, it is often a question of daring to permit yourself.
We hide behind excuses simply because we want to avoid discomfort, pain, and suffering.
Because permitting ourselves to go towards what makes us vibrate, permitting ourselves to leave a golden prison to fly on our own by creating our own business leads us to face many limiting beliefs and fears (fear of failing, to succeed, being criticized, to be rejected…)
So how dare you permit yourself to live whoever the life you want?
Permitting yourself, why is it complicated?
Many people get into the habit of staying in a place, an environment, whether it’s a work environment or a geographical environment because around them, people function like that. And also because they believe that’s what society expects of them.
However, very often, they feel that it is not THEM, that it is not made for them, and that it does not make them vibrate.
We have all been conditioned to ask permission, permission since birth. We first ask permission from our parents, our brothers, and sisters, and our teachers. Then, as adults, we ask permission from our managers, our bosses…
However, it is possible to get rid of this conditioning.
If we want to live a life that looks like us, that gives us enthusiasm, joy, and meaning, we need to allow ourselves, to permit ourselves.
I find it hard to understand people who tell me “I can’t take this job, this job anymore. I feel useless. Or, I may not stand this subordination association, the pyramidal process in companies… And yet they continue.
I always took to heart my desires and what vibrated inside me. Was I scared? Yes. And every day I’m scared. Every day, I have this little voice that makes me doubt, makes me ask a thousand and one questions. But it is by putting awareness of all that, I can regain control of my life.
In the world, there are so many possibilities and professional opportunities!
If we are ready to commit ourselves, step out of our comfort zone, train ourselves, to acquire the knowledge and skills that we need, the best is possible.
Another life is possible.
Today, I live in an environment that allows me to be in contact with nature, I have a better quality of life, I work from home which saves me a lot of time on transport… I love also what I do. Every day I feel nourished. But that starts with authorization and permission.
At some point, I allowed myself to quit jobs that didn’t suit me.
I allowed myself to leave a very comfortable professional situation when I was pregnant with my second daughter.
I allowed myself to leave the inner suburbs of Paris, leaving my husband behind because the environment in which we lived did not suit me.
To permit yourself is to grant yourself value. It’s realizing that you matter.
If I had waited for my husband to react, nothing would have happened in my life.
If I had waited for all the stars to be aligned to get started, I would still be there.
If I had waited until I had more time, and more money…my life wouldn’t have changed.
Again, permitting yourself is realizing that you have the right to live the life you want to have.
Will everything be rosy? Will everything be certain? No of course not.
Probably on the way you will make mistakes, fail, fail, and be in discomfort.
But at least you tried. You will have permitted yourself.
And then there will be moments of deep gratitude, moments of success, moments of magic.
In our ways of functioning, we tend to avoid pain too much. Normal, it is the proper functioning of our brain… To avoid suffering.
So we prefer to stagnate in our life, feeding regrets instead of embracing the discomfort that often passes away to give way to a new reality that excites us more.
How dare you permit yourself?
1) Become aware that we are creators of our life
As such, you can perfectly set your own rules of the game. We leave our power too much in the hands of others (our bosses, our spouses, the government, etc.). Every individual has within him the keys to allow himself to live as he wishes.
To do this, we must get rid of limiting beliefs and everything that society and others expect of us.
2) Set behavioral goals
We often tend to set ourselves goals to achieve this or that result. I invite you here to set behavioral objectives allowing you to become this new version of yourself who allows himself more, who dares to say things, who affirm his needs and his desires…
For example, it would be to set yourself the following objectives:
- By January 31, I leave the office no later than 6 p.m. to take a 30-minute walk in the park near my house
- Every day, I get up 15 minutes earlier to do 15 minutes of meditation, mindfulness, or journaling.
- Every morning, when I wake up, I become aware of my body and the signals it sends me.
3) Allow yourself to be SELF
What drives us to wear masks in society?
What drives us to wear a skimpy suit that suffocates us every day at the office?
Quite simply, the need to be recognized, accepted and loved.
Almost all of us carry within us the belief that if we are ourselves, then we will be judged, criticized, and rejected.
But what do we prefer to live?
A life that locks us in? A life in which we cannot fully express who we are? A life at odds with our values? Life in total over-adaptation?
You and I know that this life is very likely to drive us straight into the wall.
However, to reveal oneself to oneself, to be oneself, is the most beautiful gift one can give oneself.